Contributed by Maggie McGary
Where Old (Motherwhatnowredux) Meets New
So apparently there's a casting call going on for a new reality show about mom bloggers. According to the post I just linked to, "the concept is to showcase how women are using social tools to affect positive change whether in their own lives or for a greater cause."
Seriously? I mean, not to hate or anything, but I have all kinds of issues with this. I'm a mom and I'm a blogger, but I do not consider myself to be a mommy blogger. I think the term is demeaning, for one, as well as limiting. But here's the thing: what's the percent chance the producers of the show really want to showcase women who are actually using social tools to affect positive change as opposed to showcase a tiny bubble of the real world where a handful of moms are being courted by huge companies and treated to VIP experiences and free trips? Because, let's face it, the former wouldn't make very good reality TV and the latter probably wouldn't either. But at least call a spade a spade.
Reality TV is about drama and tabloid-worthy scandal. Jersey Shore, Real Housewives, Jon and Kate Plus 8--those shows all have those elements. A show about mom bloggers? I mean, sure, I'm sure there are plenty of moms bloggers out there who have drama in their lives--but if the show is to be about their blogs, how interesting can that be? I mean, yes, it is remotely interesting to watch the spats in mom blog world: the fights, the drama, the jealousy. But watch a show about it? Maybe one episode, but even then, not so much.
Are the mom bloggers who audition for the show going to be willing to expose the trainwreck elements of their lives to the camera? Because a Disney life just isn't interesting on TV. What attracts viewers to reality shows are the trashy parts: divorce, cheating, addictions, scandal. Inevitably any chance at making a mom blogger reality show a success would involve showcasing the ways blogging puts a strain on what's most important to moms: their families. Because the reality is that being a successful blogger is EXTREMELY time-consuming and, as with any time-consuming career, it takes a toll on parenting, marriages, health and sanity. Any show documenting the "reality" of a successful mom blogger's life would reveal this.
Take this submission from the the Project Mom Facebook page, for instance:
Mommy Blogging featuring Kadi Prescott from Fresh Take on Vimeo.
This woman obviously thinks her story is about how she's successfully juggling being a blogger and a mom. She's cute, she has 7 kids, she's made a career of social media and blogging while still being home with her kids. Great, right? I can tell you right now that critics would have a FIELD DAY with this woman. Talks about how her kids are her priority--yet you watch the video clip and see a totally negligent mom who spends her days online with kids blowing around the house like forgotten tumbleweeds. Look how Kate went from being every mom's hero to a horrible, negligent parent who drove away her (deadbeat) husband because she was so annoying and has no lapsed into total self-indulgent, negligent narcissism. Is that how this woman would want her life to go down in front of the TV viewing public? Because that's what success is in TV world.
I'll digress...but it will be interesting to see how this plays out.
UPDATE: I posted the following as a comment but am moving it here and removing a link that caused someone hurt, which was not my intent. Granted, I could have done without the threat of a lawsuit for doing nothing other than linking to a news story from Google...but I digress.
Um, I think I wasn't clear: I (I'd underline and bold that if I could) was not trying to say that's how I feel about Kadi--my point was that is how reality TV goes. There are MANY people in the world who see a woman doing anything other than paying 100% attention to her kids and go ballistic about how she's neglectful. I am here to tell you that people would watch that video clip--or a video clip of my life, for that matter--and hate. Period. And if there's one group of people who are criticized the most it's moms. Which is the point of this post--a mom blogger reality show would not be about warm fuzzies. My point was that reality TV is about taking a good person who thinks they're doing the right thing and putting it out there to the court of public opinion--a court made up of haters. Do you read tabloids? Watch TV? You think that people don't judge celebrities--or reality-show-people-cum-celebrities? Hate and judging are what fuel TV, tabloids, and magazines...nobody would be making any money off any of it if it were all warm and fuzzy and an ongoing appreciation-fest for those who deserve it. Back to Kate: what is the whole refrain about her now? That she doesn't care about her kids, is selfish, is neglectful, etc. I"M no the one saying it--it's what people are saying. Just look a this post and the comments: THIS is what will happen if there is a mom blogger reality show. TV sensationalizing what is sensational about mom bloggers which de facto takes time away from their being moms, which WILL NOT go over well with the general public.
Contributed by Maggie McGary
My name is Maggie McGary this is my personal blog. This blog started 5 years ago at Motherwhatnow Redux but Blogger old-style recently stopped working for me so I moved over here.
Still want to know more about me? I'm a mom who blogs but not a "mommy blogger." I'm an online community and social media manager for an association. I live in a suburb of DC. The things I write about in this blog are my opinions and have nothing to do with my employer, btw.
STILL want to know more? Check out my Twitter profile @maggielmcg and follow the links. Or Google me.
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Comments 22 Comments
::cough::
Have a wonderful day trashing the internet. :)
You are perpetuating the the belief that all mom bloggers or moms who blog ignore their families in favor of their online world and that is simply not true. I am a WAHM and I work 10-12 hours per day, everyday. But I am not ignoring my child, those working hours are interspersed between taking care of my 5 year old daughter, household chores and just being a wife and mother.
For you to call her negligent is appalling. Have you ever heard of creative editing?
Judgmental much?
It seems to me that you may be a bit jealous of her success and ability to make an income through blogging and social media.
Bitter, party of one? Your table's ready.
Just curious.
If you meant this to be about reality tv, well, you missed the point when you took one person & put her on your own exploit. I have posted "around" Kadi, but don't personally know her. I found this from another blogger & debated several times if I should even comment..
I wrote my own blog post about this reality tv show, but I chose to uplift the bloggers who are interesting enough to even be considered for a TV show, not bash them. Just because it isnt for you doesnt mean it's wrong, or bad.
The thing I think is saddest, is that this is a prime example of WHY bloggers/moms/people n line HAVE drama, you can't make an example of one specific person to suit your story & then complain about drama, you just started it yourself! I can't imagine it would feel good to be Kadi & read this, especially from some random blogger. How would you feel if I picked something out of your blog & talked poorly of you? I think THAT is the issue at hand here.
Would I try out for a show? No, its not for me. If you want to talk about reality TV being unhealthy, by all means make a legitimate point, but calling out and bashing a fellow business woman online isn't exactly a great way to set an example yourself.
Be part of the solution you so fondly speak of.
~Trisha
PS Rock on, Kadi.
THANKS FOR THINKING OF MY & MY FAMILIES WELL BEING.
Those in glass houses should cast stones.......just sayin
Like you, I agree that a show like this is going to open the doors with attacks on the personal lives of these bloggers. When it comes to parenting, everyone has their own view of what's right and wrong, unfortunately, the moms appearing in this show are going to have their parenting style, social life, and online lives come under intense scrutiny because drama is what sells on tv. No one is going to focus on all of the good that bloggers like Kadi accomplish. It's sad really.
I've known Kadi since my website's inception and she is an amazing woman. As you wrote this piece, I'm sure your kids weren't cradled in your arms or sitting quietly on your lap. We all need an escape and if that means our "tumbleweeds" are running rampant in the safety of their own home, so be it.
Kadi is no stranger to unwarranted negativity, to struggles, or to stress, but she's also no stranger to accomplishment. I'd support and applaud her in anything she does because she does the same for those she meets. She needs to be perceived as an inspiration rather than a target.
I also don't think "mommy blogger" is demeaning at all. I know dozens who are proud to be all three...a mommy, a blogger, and a mommy blogger. Perhaps some in the mainstream media have tainted the term through snark-filled rants and flawed reporting but I'd never look down on anyone who embraced themselves as being a mommy blogger.
I know you're getting a lot of flack from Kadi's friends/colleagues who've misunderstood what I think you're trying to say here. I happen to be one of Kadi's friends and I don't find your post quite as offensive as some have. I'm sure by now I don't need to go on about the good points of Kadi as so many have done above.
I will say that I agree with your thesis that reality television networks will probably thrive on those out of text moments in which they can raise their ratings by portraying some hard working mother as someone who ignores her children for the sake of success.
I will also say that it may behoove you to have an editor to check for content and cohesion, when referencing other people, to avoid this in the future. While I thought it was clear that you were commenting about Kadi as an example of the network mentality, I can see where others may have been confused.
To call out any blogger by name and use her as an example is just wrong. All this post has done is turned you into one of the reality TV producers. You have automatically portrayed this blogger in a negative light and I have to wonder if you did this to boost your traffic for the day.
and please use a dictionary next time -
"affect positive change" - the correct usage is "effect positive change"
which this post certainly is not producing
She is a fantastic mom. She does put them first.
Kadi I so heart you and keep it up. This lady does not have any valid points.
And in my personal opinion, it does appear to me that Kadi is ignoring her children. It is not developmentally appropriate to stick young children in front of computers all day. Fact. If she is going to work from home, she should get a nanny.
If you can't take the heat, don't write the post.
What are your children doing while you are on the internet, Cassie?
She who is without sin, cast the first stone.
And one more for fun...
Judge ye not, lest ye also be judged.